My BootCamp Blog

I wrote this right before I went off to basic training a little over a year and a month ago.  Just to give you an impression of what my life has been like.  I'll update again with something better tomorrow, but right now I have to iron my shitty cook whites again.  DAMN YOU, ARMY.  Also, I did a quick drawing of Arnold Shwarzencoughinflagenfloozle.  Enjoy!

"Sometimes life gives you lemons, but before you can make lemonade, life shits on the lemons. Then, puts it all in a blender, pisses in it, throws a handful of rusty razorblades in, and tops it off with a dead rat. Then, with a gun to your head, forces you to drink it and calls THAT lemonade. Actually, on second thought, life doesn't even give you lemons. 'Cause life is a dick like that. Life is like, "Hey, wait, give me those fucking lemons! I'm going to make some lemonade. Enjoy your shit-ade. Also, have some cancer. And I killed your cat." That's really the way it is, and that pretty much sums up my life.

On Thursday, I had my final day at work, said my goodbyes to all my coworkers, and walked out the door, walked to the street, looked both ways and saw that my bus was coming. I ran across like I always do, then as soon as I made it across, a cop pulled up and gave me a ticket for jaywalking. I told him, "Hey man, can you just let me off with a warning? I'm getting married tomorrow and I'm joining the army on Monday." He was like, "That's nice, here's your ticket."

Fuck cops. He had a shitty mustache anyway.

But after that, everything was good. Diana and I got married the next day, went to the comic book store, had some fish tacos, then saw District 9, which was a fucking awesome movie. We'll have an actual ceremony later on so we can invite all our friends and family, but what we did was pretty damn good for me.

I'm leaving for boot camp in less than 7 hours, ready to become the sexiest Myles I can be. And I know what you're thinking: "Myles, how can you be any sexier than you are now? You're sexy Myles the Pharaoh Wizard!" I know, I know, but I will do the impossible and become even sexier.

So this is my last blog for a little while, at least two months. I'm not good at goodbyes, so I just want to say "Smell ya later." If you want to write to me (which I hope you do), get my address from Diana. I don't even know what it'll be yet, but she'll keep you updated.

Love and Peace"